Herbie the Love Pig

Santa outdid himself this year.

We don’t have any pets here in DirtyLaundryLand (except a hermit crab who has been largely ignored for the last couple of months…I feed and water him mainly out of pity).  Dave is allergic to cats and Ben is allergic to dogs, we tried fish but they weren’t very cuddly, ditto the aforementioned hermit crab, and though Webkinz are fun and cuddly, they’re just not real enough to count.

A few months ago, Ben decided he would ask Santa for a guinea pig.  Jack jumped right on that bandwagon, but took it a step further, asking Santa for a guinea pig, a “wizard” (lizard), a cat, and a puppy.  Maddie liked the idea, but never asked for pets, knowing, smart girl, that Santa sometimes has trouble transporting live presents (she likes to keep her list sensible, legible, and concise to maximize her gift-getting potential).

It was fate, I believe, that sent me to substitute teach in a classroom with a guinea pig, a classroom that also included a teacher aide who raved about their Tootsie’s tameness, lack of stink and bite, and easy–clean cage.  And the rest, as they say, is guinea piggin’ history.

So on Christmas morning, the last opened present held a note from Santa and Mrs. Claus, telling the kids that Santa had a left a special something for them in the basement whose name was Herbie, and that Mrs. Claus knew she could count on them to take good care of him.  They raced down the steps and were delighted to find our sweet Herbie. 

Herbie was not so delighted to find three screaming children in his face and we had a hard time getting him out of the cage.  But since then, the constant attention from the kids has won him over (or broken his spirit?), because he will sit contentedly on everyone’s chest as he gnaws down on the baby carrots we hand-feed him.

Only one member of our family is not happy about our new addition.  Hermy, the hermit crab silently rages in his corner of the kitchen, waves of jealousy emanating across the room reminding us of who was there first.  Hermy, this picture’s for you:

Mmmmmmmmonkey Bread

We were up at 5:45 a.m. on the big day with our big girl who on every other day sleeps as late as she can.  She snuggled in bed with us while we waited for the boys to wake up, which they did within the hour.

After ripping through the presents at a tremendous speed, the kids played and played, Dave brought in his crowbar to free the toys from their %&$# boxes, and I started in on the Monkey Bread.

Monkey Bread is so easy, so yummy, so gooey, so healthy (in my dreams) and only 4 ingredients:  buttermilk biscuits, cinnamon, sugar, and butter.
       
First quarter the biscuits and throw them into a bowl of cinnamon and sugar.  Swirl them around a lot to totally cover them up with the good stuff, then throw them into a bundt pan.

When that bundt pan is filled up (I do 4-5 cans of the quartered, cinnamon-sugar dredged biscuits), microwave the remaining cinnamon-sugar mixture, a stick of butter, and two tablespoons of water in the microwave, then pour it over the biscuits and then bake.

Oh. Yeah.

My parents and brothers and their families arrive around 11:00, and we dig into this and into my mom’s savory and delicious breakfast casserole every year before opening Round 2 of the presents.

Monkey Bread

4-5 cans buttermilk biscuits, quartered
2 T. cinnamon
1 1/2 c. sugar
1 stick butter or margarine
2 T water

~Combine cinnamon and sugar. Roll the quartered biscuits in the cinnamon-sugar mixture and put in greased bundt pan.  Melt butter, water, and remaining cinnamon-sugar in pot on stove or in microwave stirring at 30 second intervals.  Bring to a boil then pour over biscuits. 

~Bake at 325 degrees for 40 minutes.  Let stand for 10 minutes.

~Flip onto a plate (Dave always does that part for me…I can not do this without the monkey bread flying across the counter) and serve.

~Eat by pulling the gooey pieces off of the monkey bread and do a lot of finger licking (required!)

Kids Bake

Don't worry, he's actually wearing pants under that apron (I'm all about hygiene in the kitchen...)

It was our yearly kids only baking night.  The only thing I do is unwrap the log of Pillsbury sugar cookie dough and slide the cookie sheets in and out of the oven.  I save tricky Christmas cookies for another day.

The kids each roll out their dough (here Jack is getting a little help from me):
                
Next they choose their cookie cutters, cut out the dough, and put them on the sheet:

Now comes the best part!  Sprinkles galore!  Sprinkles everywhere!  Time to go crazy with the sprinkles and Mama will complain only a little bit!
               
Maddie is the one who gets very fancy.  It took her 35 minutes to decorate her cookies:



I am kicking myself that I didn’t think to get a picture of the finished products.  We ate some of them and took most to Jack’s school the next day to enjoy after these cherubs sang:

Jack, thankfully, is fully clothed for this picture (he’s in the top right).  

Merry Christmas and best wishes to you!

Smart

My Jack is a genius.  And how do I know?

A hat this big has got to hold a lot of brains.

Shower, Interrupted

There are so many things we take for granted.  Like good health.  Sunshine.  The devoted love of family members.  A good night’s sleep. 

And uninterrupted showers.

Yeah, you read me right:  uninterrupted showers are awesome, and I have to rank them right up there with good health, way ahead of sunshine,  though maybe slightly (a teeny-tiny bit) behind sleep and the family love thing. 

There was a time when I took uninterrupted showers for granted.  Like when I was ages 5-31.  But then I had a baby.  A baby whom I adored so much I would set her outside my shower and peek out at her every 10 seconds to make sure she was still okay.  So precious!  Look at her! 

Then the next baby came and now I had to corral a toddler and an infant in the bathroom while I showered, and more often than not I had to hop out of the shower a few times to reinsert a pacifier or retrieve a board book from the toilet. 

By the third baby, the bigger kids were allowed to be outside of the bathroom (which forced me to have super-speedy showers), and that infant-outside-my-shower thing was getting old.  Jack missed his mama and I resented the crying, and was sick of sticking my head out of the shower to reassure him I was still there and tired of making silly faces at him and sick and tired of singing The Brady Bunch theme so he could hear my voice. 

Even as he grew, he liked to play in the bathroom while I showered, setting up Lego parking lots for his Matchbox cars or reading books on his belly on the fuzzy bathmat.  There was a constant stream of chatter, mostly a play-by-play of what his cars were doing intermingled with “Are you soon done, Mama?”

But those years are over, and I have been taking uninterrupted showers for granted …until yesterday morning when I was reminded yet again to treasure my solitude:  Jack knocked on the door and asked for more toast (“Go ask Daddy!”) and Ben knocked on the door because he wanted me to play Guitar Hero with him (“I’m a little wet in here…ask me in twenty!”)

Then I was left alone again to enjoy the peace and quiet, grumble to myself about the interruptions, then ponder my luck at having someone to make toast for and play Guitar Hero with. 

Hahaha!  Good one!  No, I really just totally grumbled to myself about the interruptions then turned up the shower to drown out any further distress calls from the rugrats.

Wishin’ and Hopin’ and Not Gettin’

The first time it happened, Ben was 4.  He loved Thomas trains, and that’s all he wanted for Christmas.    All the relatives asked for gift ideas, and each was told a different Thomas train:  Henry, Diesel 10, Mavis, etc.

Word on the street was that Santa was also bringing Ben lots of trains and track pieces.

Then a week before Christmas, Ben discovered Super Heroes.  He just had to have a Spiderman costume.  And a Batman costume.  Also Superman, Blue Power Ranger, and while we’re at it a Police uniform, and army camo…

And when Christmas arrived, he was happy to get the trains, but disappointed that Santa only brought one (hastily bought and wrapped) costume.  And as those relative presents came trickling in, his disappointment really started to show.

He had to wait until August for all those costumes.

Here are Maddie, cousin Nick, and Ben modeling the long awaited 

Super Hero costumes during Ben’s birthday at the beach.

It happened again a few times, most notably last year, when all he wanted were those doggone Bakugan balls that were ridiculously hard to find.  Again, Santa was bringing a lot of those and not much of anything else, as were the relatives.  And a week before Christmas vacation started, his school principal banned them from the school grounds  for causing disturbances on buses and on the playground.

 

And what’s the point of having something he can’t take to school to trade and play with friends?  He decided he wanted other things.

Which he mostly didn’t get.

But I am getting smarter.

His entire list this year was Lego kits .  I asked him-- How about some DS games?  A kickball to replace the one that burst a few weeks ago?  A dock for your iPod?  You seriously can’t think of anything else for Santa to bring you? 

And now, December 18, he’s written up a  whole new list to send Santa (which include the items I mentioned above) and a few other things that would have been good to know a few weeks ago.

And which I mostly got.

Score one for mom.

How to Build a (Good Enough) Gingerbread House

1.  Buy yourself one of these:

           

2.  Squeeze the disgusting, preservative-enriched icing onto the house pieces and hold them together for a good long while.  Like a whole five minutes or so.

3.  Then wait ‘til it hardens.

4.  Pick your nose to help time pass.

5.  Go wash your hands.

6.  Time to add the candy!  Call in the troops!  Cover that sucker with more icing and give it some bling!

7.  What?  Do not eat until Christmas?

8.  Well…maybe just a few nibbles, since you’re all so darn cute.

9.  Dentist Appointment:  January 2.

The Monkey, The Peanut, and Madeline’s Tree

Last weekend we headed out to get our Christmas tree.  The kids mostly had fun running up and down the rows of trees. 

Part of me wanted to stop them and tell them to behave in public, but there was only one other family there and I didn’t know them and they were far enough away that if they were talking mean about us I couldn’t hear them… so I let it go.


She slowed down enough for me to snap this one:
Best part?  Candy canes!

The next day we decorated.  Some people have beautiful theme trees.  And multiple trees.  For example, check out my friend Wendy’s blog here.  Wendy has four trees.  Wendy puts us all to shame.  Wendy’s not invited to my house for Christmas because I would be embarrassed for her to see my lame-o tree (and that’s tree-singular).

So anyway, if you’re still reading with low hopes about the outcome of my tree and this blog post, I’ll continue.

Our tree contains all the ornaments Dave and I got as children, the thousand million gazillion apple ornaments I received as teacher gifts over the years, and our children’s ornaments, including all the ones they make at school. Here they are holding the sandpaper gingerbread men they each made the year they were in pre-K:

My mom gave me a special ornament every year, mostly angels (because I was one) and some she made, and some she thought represented my year (like Santa looking at a globe the semester I went to Europe in college).  Here is one she made for me the year she was into ceramics (see, I totally look like an angel):

I do the same as my mom, and tend to get the kids an ornament that represents something important to them in the previous year, such as a sport they played, or a toy or t.v. character they especially loved.  The year Maddie fell from her window, I found a special angel ornament to represent her guardian angel’s presence that year.

I asked the kids to tell me their favorites of all of them, and surprisingly, they all picked the ornament I got them for their first Christmases!  Here they are:

Maddie-Madeline, of course!

Ben—a peanut, because he was such a tiny little peanut his first year (we even called him Peanut):

Jack—the opposite of Ben, we called him our Chunky Monkey:

So I got the lights rigged up, and the kids found their own ornaments to hang, then helped me hang my million gazillion apples and angels.


And here’s the finished product (look away, Wendy!)

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

Thy balsam branches loaded,

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

Apples and angels exploded.

Jack hung his all, on just one limb,

(Our Chunky Monkey now is slim).

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

Thy balsam branches loaded.

Sad and Disturbing Image to Follow….Shield Your Children

A few sunny days and a night of heavy rain has left our jolly Frosty looking not so jolly anymore.

The kids originally made the face themselves and what I thought were pinecones stuck in there for eyes turned out to be huge sticks, which now give our snowman a freaky eyes-popping-out-of-the-head look to him.  It doesn’t help that his smile and nose dropped to the ground, the scarf is being blown off by the wind, and his body looks bruised and scabby from the dirt and grass that’s very visible.

Frosty in happier days.

Dear old Frosty, old pal.  We will fondly remember all the fun times we shared.  Like that time we made you and that time we saw you standing in our yard when we walked to the school bus and that time when your arm fell off and we laughed and laughed and laughed. 

Good times...Good times. 

  We will remember you (sniff, sniff) always.

First Snow!

We had our first snow on Saturday!  It started out as flurries and added the perfect backdrop for our Christmas tree trimming.  As soon as the last ornament was on the tree, the kids put on what would become extremely underutilized snow boots and headed out into our Winter Wonderland.

First up, some twirling:

Next, some snow angels:

Here’s a gratuitous shot of Jack looking cute in his snow hat:

They took turns on the super slick slide—notice Maddie is airborne in this shot:

What flavor are snowflakes?

 

If there’s not enough snow for a sled, pull out the cozy coupe:

I will pause here to remind all of you to be cautious on the roads in this weather:

Then back inside for some hot chocolate:

It snowed all day.  It was gorgeous!  By evening there was enough snow to make a snowman.  Here is Maddie chillin’ the next day with the Big Guy:

Oh, the weather outside is snowy

It’s also freezyfrostyfrigid and so blowy.

I love it ‘cause there is no grass to mow!

Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!