Pierced!

Maddie got her ears pierced this week courtesy of Aunt Jamae and Uncle Dave’s Christmas present to her. 

Maddie has always said she would NEVER get her ears pierced, because it seemed dumb to her to voluntarily choose to have someone hurt you, which makes sense when you think about it.  But when Aunt Jamae offered her the chance, she decided to be brave and take it.

It was supposed to be a trip to Claire’s with Aunt Jamae, but I had to come along because Maddie wanted to have me there to hold her hand. 

The trip began with a ride in Aunt Jamae’s awesome Mini-Cooper.

A Mini-Cooper is so much cooler than a Minivan.

We drove right to Claire’s, and Maddie picked out garnet, her birthstone, to be her first pair of earrings.

Maddie was scared.  She really did hold and squeeze my hand for the first ear.

But after the first ear, she said, “Wow!  That didn’t hurt at all!” and she didn’t need me for the second ear.

Our ear piercer had quite a few piercings herself, on her lip and nose, in addition to a very entertaining range of tattoos.  Aunt Jamae promised Maddie she could get a tattoo next Christmas.  (I think a nice little heart with “MOM” written inside it would be acceptable, what do you think??)

Thanks, Aunt Jamae!  You’re the best!

P.S.  I want to clear something up regarding my last post.  I got an email from a friend who was surprised we threw the children’s Dippin’Dots maker away, and was concerned that they were upset.  So to make things clear,  we saved the dot molds and funnel.  We can still make Dippin’ Dots, we just won’t use the unnecessary, faulty, unwieldy dispenser to do so.  The kids were not in the least upset, except for possibly with the Dippin’ Dots company for making such crap.   Thankyouverymuch.

Worst. Present. Ever.

Some presents are just bad.  Like my first Christmas with Dave.  We had been dating for about four months and I was probably thinking he’d get me a nice pair of earrings or maybe we’d go see a show or something like that.  Well, he got me a gas grill.  Which I have insisted over the last 15 years is actually a nice gift, very thoughtful, but he still feels kind of bad about it.  I don’t think he knew at that time that I don’t like fire (and I mean, who does like fire, but I have never lit a match in my life nor have I ever grilled anything.  EVER.  So, the gas grill was mainly used by him whenever he visited.)  Of course, I also got him a car vacuum one year, my thought being that he spent so much time in his car and I know he likes to keep it neat, so, you know, it would be so useful.  My bad.

Anywho, those presents pale in comparison to this one, and the only thing that makes me feel a smidgen better is that Santa brought it.  I had nothing to do with it whatsoever.  Nothing.  Because if I actually were the person responsible for spending good money on this craptastic piece of, um, plastic, then I would have to sit myself in a corner and think hard about what I had done and promise never to do it again.

So.

Don’t those children look happy?  They’re making their own Dippin’Dots!  The ones that cost $5 a pop at Hersheypark!  And it’s fun, not just delicious!

But in real life, the Dippin’ Dots company, in their woefully lacking wisdom, did not include any Dippin’ Dots mix with the kit.  No, you need to buy those separately.  But they did say in the instruction book that juice works too.  So we filled those little bottles with juice, then Maddie pushed the button that would release the juice from the bottles into the mold, then the cap came off the bottle and juice went all over the counter and down onto the floor onto my NEW slippers and I was all “My new slippers!  Sticky counter!    Sticky floor!”  And Jack was all “Waah!  Now we won’t have Dippin’ Dots!”  And Maddie was all “I swear I just pushed the button!  I swear I didn’t break it!” and Ben was all “Whatev.” And Dave was all, “It’s okay!  We can just fill the little Dots makers by hand!”  (He’s so levelheaded, it’s why the gas grill made perfect sense at the time.)

So that’s what we did,we filled the stupid little molds by hand with orange juice and cranberry juice.

And while they were freezing…

…we threw that sucker away.  I briefly considered saving it for the neighborhood yard sale in May, but could not bring myself to sell that little piece of misery to another family.

So how were they, you may ask?

Hmmm.  Well, they were not quite round.  And the verdict from the children was that they tasted “really cold, like frozen balls of juice.” Perfect.

And all I can say is, Santa, you owe us big.

M&M Pretzels

One of our favorite Christmas treats to make, eat, gift, and take to parties is those yummy and festive M&M pretzels. 

This year we made them bright and early on Saturday morning which I hope explains the bedhead…

First lay your pretzels out on a cookie sheet.  Really jam them on there.  I like the checkerboard pretzels made by Snyder’s of Hanover, but any flat pretzel will do.

Then place a “melting chocolate” wafer on each pretzel.  You can find these at Hobby Lobby or many grocery stores.  They also come in many colors, depending where you shop, so you can make orange ones for Halloween or red and pink ones for Valentine’s Day.  I went for the standard dark chocolate and white chocolate this time.  Some people use Hershey Kisses, but I don’t think the Kisses flatten enough.

Place in a preheated 275 degree oven for 2 minutes.  When you pull them out, quickly place an M&M in the middle of each chocolate wafer.

Place the cookie sheet in the fridge until the chocolate hardens.   Then store them in a Tupperware container and hide them or they will disappear and no one will have any idea where, but they will know it wasn’t them. 

M&M Pretzels

1 bag plain M&M’s

1 bag small, flat pretzels

2 bags melting chocolate wafers

Place pretzels on a cookies sheet.  Place wafers on pretzels.  Bake at 275 degrees for 2 minutes.  Remove cookie sheet from oven and place M&M’s on melted wafers.  Place cookie sheet in fridge until chocolate hardens.  Store in an airtight container.

I am linking this post to Foodie Friday at Designs by Gollum.  Follow the link there to find more great recipes!

Sprinkles Here, Jimmies There

Last Sunday was our annual Kids Bake and Sprinkle Day.  The primary goal of this day is for the kids to roll, cut, and decorate their own cookies, and really, only Jack still needs a little help.  The secondary goal is for me to get through the entire process without constantly nagging that less is more when it comes to sprinkles and jimmies belong on the cookies, not the floor, and also stop eating the sprinkles, geesh!

There was a lot of sprinkle eating and sneaking…

He noticed the camera pointed at him just in time to look surprised and cover up the move.

 

Anyway, we all really do have fun, I just have to keep repeating to myself “It will all sweep up, it’s okay to use a lot—I can buy more sprinkles, and the point is fun, not beauty and neatness”, and we usually make it through just fine.

Jack REALLY likes sprinkles.  He uses them very generously.  Very, extremely, unbelievably, heart-thumpingly generously.

Maddie takes her time.  Each cookie is a work of art.  Notice the cookie in the bottom left corner that says Maddie…

Of course, a week later, I’m still crunching little white balls under my feet.  But it was worth it.

Overheard

…from the backseat.

Ben:  Lumos!

Jack:  Mom!  Mom!  Do you spell ring  r-i-n-g?

Maddie:  …and then we each take turns saying our lines…

Ben:  Sectum Sempra!  Jack you are in pieces now!

Jack:  No, I’m not!  And mom, sing is s-i-n-g, right? 

Ben:  Yes you are!  Crucio!  Now you are in pain!

Jack:  Nooooo!  I! Am! Not!

Maddie:  …and I have to memorize this very long speech, it’s 4 paragraphs, and…

Ben:  Protego!  Avada Kedavra!  Protego!  Avada Kedavra!

Jack:  W-i-n-g is wing.  I-n-g! I-n-g!  Mom, give me another –ing word!  Mom!  Give me an –ing word!

Ben:  Expelliarmus!

Maddie:  I basically know it, if you can just listen to it, but if I miss a word…

Jack:  MOM!  An ING WORD!

Ben:  Silencio!  Mom!  I did the silencing curse on Jack!  Jack!  Now you can’t talk!  Silencio!

Jack:  Yes I can!  See!  Mom, I can still talk, right?

Maddie:  …you don’t have to stop me, it’s okay if it’s not word for word, as long as it still makes sense…

Ben:  Mom!  Here’s one for you!  Orchideous!  That makes flowers come out of my wand, just for you!  Now you say Accio Flowers  and they will come right to you!

Jack:  Mom!  An –ing word!  Oh, I know!  Sting is um, s- um –t-i-n-g!

Maddie: …I just have to, you know, say it confidently…

Ben:  Mom, what’s for supper? 

Jack:  Oh!  Eating!  That’s an ‘ing word!

Maddie:  ….but I’m really feeling nervous about it…

Ben:  Incendio!  Mom, if it’s something I don’t like, I’m going to say an Incendio curse and set it on fire, okay? 

Maddie:  Oh, and don’t forget we have to get my gift to exchange by next Thursday…

Ben:  Petrificus Totalus!  Jack, now you are a statue!  You can’t move!

Jack:  I am NOT a statue!  Stop it Ben!  Stoppitus!

Ben:  That’s not even a curse, is it Maddie?  Stoppitus isn’t even a curse, Jack just made it up, right Maddie?

Maddie: …she said we just have to go to the dollar store and get something there for like three to five dollars…

Jack:  Mom!  Give me another –ing word to spell!

 

[You have just enjoyed a tiny little 20 second peek at a drive that continued much in the same manner for about ten minutes.  I honestly should have stock in Tylenol or possibly I will make millions inventing a little bell jar type thing that comes down out of the minivan ceiling and surrounds the driver with a sound-proof glass and possibly dispenses Godiva chocolate via voice command].

Christmas Past and Presents

Do you like old photos as much as I do?  I enjoy checking out the weird clothes on the people, the outdated decor in the background, the facial expressions, the family relationships, the illustrated record of an important event.

Would you like to see some of my old photos?  Too bad.  Here they are.
It’s Christmas morning and I’m  in my new majorette costume playing with my awesome new Fisher-Price barn.  I still have the barn and the Ernie puppet I also got.   I wish I still had the majorette costume:   those shiny black boots are totally groovin’.

How about this beauty?

I’m rocking out on my new guitar next to my Suzy Homemaker ironing board.  (Note to husband:  this is why I don’t like ironing, I got burnt out at a very young age). 


I believe I am 10 years old in this picture, and my Dorothy Hamill haircut and I are very excited to be holding the newest Holly Hobbie doll.  If they had American Girl dolls then, I’d have been all over them.  Do you think my bratty brother Dave loves that fire truck as much as my dad loves his mustache?


Dy-no-mite!  Yes that’s Jay Jay from Good Times on my Christmas underwear!

I believe I see a whoopie cushion, the Lord of the Rings book set, some Avon perfume in a bottle shaped like a shepherdess, and could it be…?  Yes!  A Holly Hobbie desk set and I’m leaning against my new Holly Hobbie pillow.  I was all about Holly Hobbie for way too long.  Check out the new watch on my wrist.  It was way cool because you pushed a button and the time lit up in red.

My Grammy made a new afghan for someone every year.  When it was your turn, you felt very honored.

Grammy made me two over the years, and I still love and use both of them.  By the way, my future husband is sitting behind me smiling at all my relatives and trying to figure out if he should really marry a woman who wears huge glasses and a poinsettia sweatshirt hand decorated with glitter glue.

Such happiness on these faces:

I love watching my children open their Christmas presents.  We mostly buy them only “needs” all year, not “wants” which helps make Christmas day especially fun and anticipated. 

Only fourteen more days until Christmas, and we can’t wait!

Deck the Halls!

The blogging world is bubbling over with Christmas posts right now.  I am enjoying all of the food bloggers who are sharing recipes for Christmas cookies and homemade food gifts, and the home decor bloggers who really make me feel inadequate inspire me with all of the beautifully decorated mantles, entryways, and laundry rooms (seriously---some people go all out). 

Herbie was looking over my shoulder while I was perusing my favorite blogs the other day, and he suggested I feature his own decorated cage on my blog.  I thought, Why not?  If more people decorated their guinea pig cages, the world would be a more inspiring place.  Please feel free to copy any ideas I am showing you here!

First, Herbie has placed a sugar plum beaded garland around his cage.  Stunning!

He has hung his stocking with care with hopes that St. Nicholas will put carrots in there.

There is a festive ball hanging from the roof of his cage, adding just a touch of whimsy to his otherwise classically decorated home.

Breathtaking!

Oh look!  Herbie has even stored up some extra logs for his fireplace!

Which is a little strange as he does not have a fireplace, but whatever.

Of course his favorite place is still in the arms of a good buddy.

Merry Christmas and Happy Decorating from Herbie the Love Pig!

Tree-dition

Christmas is just steeped in tradition, isn’t it?  Let me share a few our traditions with you!

Our first tradition is the very fun How Many Times Can We Ask Mom When We’re Decorating the House Before She Kicks Something.  This year I kicked the box containing the stockings and nutcrackers about 90 minutes into Thanksgiving Day.  A new record!  This tradition is so fun it is repeated often throughout the Christmas season in different variations  such as When Are We Getting the Tree, Can We Bake Cookies Today, Pleeeease Can’t We Make the Gingerbread House, and best of all Why Don’t We Have As Many Lights Up As The Neighbors?

Of course, getting the Christmas tree is one of our most anticipated holiday traditions.  We head out to the tree farm, run through all of the trees, and see who can get the muddiest shoes or, as was the lucky case this year, who can fall and stain their new pants first.

Once the tree is chosen and chopped down, the next tradition we enjoy is How Long Will It Take Daddy to Tie the Tree to the Car Roof?  This year we were treated to a little bonus fun when Daddy rolled the tree off the opposite side of the car, which was pretty darn hilarious.

Yes, that really did just happen…

Once the tree is (finally) secured to the roof of the car, Dave and I have a little tradition of our own we like to call Forgetting the Tree is on the Car Roof and Driving Into the Garage.  Try it!  It’s lots of fun!

When the tree is finally placed in its holiday position by the window, my absolute favorite tradition, the Joyful Stringing of the Lights takes place.  I am in charge of this one, and oh, words cannot describe the joy it brings me!  Especially because there are three children just DYING to hang ornaments on the tree but who must wait until the Lights Are Hung With Care and As Little Swearing As Possible but who still feel the need to ask frequently “are you done with the lights yet”, “why are those lights you put up not lit now”, “can we just put some candy canes on it”, and “isn’t it weird that you have the part that goes in the outlet at the top of the tree, mom, shouldn’t it be at the bottom?”  Oh yes.  Such joy.

Truly, though, one of our favorite traditions is pulling out the ornaments and exclaiming excitedly over them as we haven’t seen them all in almost a year.  They really are like old friends to us!  When we go to hang these old friends on the tree, we find it is best to hang them as close to the end of the branch as possible, ensuring that each and every one will fall to the floor at least once through the holiday season.  We call this tradition The Ornament Game and the aim of the game is that you earn a point every time you are the one to pick up an ornament and place it back on the tree.  So far, I have the most points, 17, while everyone else still has zero!  I am totally going to win this one!


Once the tree is up, it’s time to stand back and admire it.

The sweet, calm, beauty of the Christmas Tree.  I absolutely do love it.

Oh!  Is that a fallen ornament I hear?!  Excuse me:  18 points for Mom!

Proud to Be a (Tacky) American

Are you proud to be an American?

Are you having trouble finding that perfect gift for that special person in your life… maybe your  pastor, plumber, exterminator, or maybe even for your spouse (what a great way to say “I love you, honey.”)?

Do your tastes run on the tacky, unbelievably inappropriate side?

Then do I have the gift for you!

(Seriously, please click on the link above…I am not making any money when you click as I don’t have a money making blog, but I saw this commercial this morning and nearly peed my pants laughing).

Before you click, you may want to run to the bathroom and empty your bladder.  I’m just sayin’.

A Valiant Effort

It’s that time of year again.  The time of year I have been preparing for so diligently.  I’ve had high hopes, I’ve pushed and cajoled and bribed and promised things like extra ice cream and late bedtimes and not killing anyone.

And yet, I’m still not ready.

So here you go…my Christmas card rejects:

Nice.  But Ben’s rub-on tattoo and Popeye smile are distracting.

It looks like I don’t feed Jack.   And now Maddie looks like Popeye.  And this was the only photo I took of all three children at the beach.  The only one.

Okay, this was a good idea, but none of the 15 photos I snapped turned out any better than this one.  Jack looks like he’s ready to cry.  Probably because I kept shouting, “Smile!  If you people would just cooperate we could be finished and you could go play in the creek again!”

Then someone pushed someone and…I gave up.

If only Jack had been looking up!

So…a wedding, surely there would be thousands of photo opps there, right?  But the only time all three kids were together was while heading into the reception.  In front of the brick wall. 

Nice.  But it’s a brick wall.

 

So.  Too pumpkin-y for a Christmas card?

Of course, I always have this to fall back on…

Maybe this will be the year for something entirely different on the Christmas card.  Something like…

…or possibly…

…or maybe even…

“Hi and Merry Christmas!”

My last chance was Monday night.  Our neighborhood Santa (you can read about him here) joined us for our annual Neighborhood Christmas List and Candy Cane Exchange.  We practiced ahead of time.  I reminded them that as soon as they gave Santa their lists to turn and smile and they must not lose eye contact with the camera!  People would be waiting in line behind us, and time was limited.  We had to do it!  I got three pictures:

Too dark!

Too blurry!

Just right!

Except that Ben looks like Santa just goosed him.  And Jack was feeling very shy meeting Santa and he’s giving me his “I’m smiling because I have to” smile.  So I don’t know.

So, what do you think?  (And don’t tell me to go with the Funny Face one.  My mother would KILL me.)