Santa outdid himself this year.
We don’t have any pets here in DirtyLaundryLand (except a hermit crab who has been largely ignored for the last couple of months…I feed and water him mainly out of pity). Dave is allergic to cats and Ben is allergic to dogs, we tried fish but they weren’t very cuddly, ditto the aforementioned hermit crab, and though Webkinz are fun and cuddly, they’re just not real enough to count.
A few months ago, Ben decided he would ask Santa for a guinea pig. Jack jumped right on that bandwagon, but took it a step further, asking Santa for a guinea pig, a “wizard” (lizard), a cat, and a puppy. Maddie liked the idea, but never asked for pets, knowing, smart girl, that Santa sometimes has trouble transporting live presents (she likes to keep her list sensible, legible, and concise to maximize her gift-getting potential).
It was fate, I believe, that sent me to substitute teach in a classroom with a guinea pig, a classroom that also included a teacher aide who raved about their Tootsie’s tameness, lack of stink and bite, and easy–clean cage. And the rest, as they say, is guinea piggin’ history.
So on Christmas morning, the last opened present held a note from Santa and Mrs. Claus, telling the kids that Santa had a left a special something for them in the basement whose name was Herbie, and that Mrs. Claus knew she could count on them to take good care of him. They raced down the steps and were delighted to find our sweet Herbie.
Herbie was not so delighted to find three screaming children in his face and we had a hard time getting him out of the cage. But since then, the constant attention from the kids has won him over (or broken his spirit?), because he will sit contentedly on everyone’s chest as he gnaws down on the baby carrots we hand-feed him.
Only one member of our family is not happy about our new addition. Hermy, the hermit crab silently rages in his corner of the kitchen, waves of jealousy emanating across the room reminding us of who was there first. Hermy, this picture’s for you:
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