Getting Past the Block

I’m having a little Writer’s Block  problem over here in Dirty Laundry Land.  I really just don’t know what to write about, which is why you’ve been getting a lot of pictures lately.  I know, I know.  If you see another photo of my supposedly cute kids you’re going to cut me from your Favorites list. 

So today I googled, “Blog Post Ideas”.

Here’s what one site suggested:

1. Analyze/interpret current trends in your industry, drill down to specific examples.

Hmm.  Well, I could write about how the kids seem to be dirtying their clothes more in the summer, possibly because they are outside in the grass and dirt and sand more; eating popsicles, corn on the cob, and S’more’s like they’re going out of style; and then there was all that vomit after Jack ate too many desserts after downing a day’s worth of pool water on July 4th. 

Um. No.

2. Start your own tagging meme.

I do not know what this memes.

3. Crowdsource your next post idea to your readers.

I do not know what this memes either.

4.  Run a contest and give something relevant and interesting (not necessarily expensive) to your readers.

I did that with the baby pictures and the zucchini!  And then 4 people won, and then my zucchini plant produced only two zucchini and then died, so I was faced with a dilemma of who gets the zucchini…should I buy replacement zucchini to pass off as my own…could I sneak the winners a cucumber and hope they don’t notice…  Then what I  finally did was nothing, so now I’ve probably got zucchini stalkers or possibly big, hairy, tattooed guys from collection agencies MapQuesting directions to my house to repo said zucchinis, or I have possibly alienated half my readers (yes, I think there may be 8 of you) and I’m very stressed out!  I am not doing another contest, thankyouverymuch.

5.  Write a stream of consciousness post that is extremely emotive.

Dude!  I totally just did that in the last paragraph!  Awesome!

6.  Write Part 2 of one of your posts that was extremely popular.

Okay, I looked back to see which posts I’ve written got the most comments, and Number Two was “Brownies From Heaven” with 7 comments, and Number One was “Real Men (And Children) Do Eat Quiche” with 10 comments.  Umm.  Let’s see.  Well, we ate the quiche, and also the brownies, and they were delicious!  And then the quiche and the brownies worked their way through our collective digestive systems, and… you know, I think I’m going to skip this idea.

7.  Throw your blog over to the commenters for a day.

[Sound of crickets chirping…]

8.  Point out something ironic.

“It's like rain on your wedding day!
It's a free ride when you've already paid!
It's the good advice that you just didn't take!”

Though, as you are probably aware, unless you are my mother, those examples actually came from Alanis Morrisette, not me, and the song really always kind of bothered me, because they are not actual examples of irony, but rather just kind of sad or unexpected things that happen.   Irony is telling the truth, with the understanding that your listener will know that you really mean the opposite,  for instance, “Irony is an interesting subject for a blog post.”

9.  Ask a question everyone else is afraid of asking.

Ooooh.  I like this one!  How about “Do children really need to be fed every day?” or “Are skinny people actually unhappier and unhealthier and much less attractive than their chunky counterparts?” or possibly “Clean floors/bathtubs/refrigerator drawers/closets/car windows--are they overrated?”

10.  Coin a phrase which describes a phenomenon that currently has no description.

What?!  Aww, man!  That sounds too hard.  It’s summer.  I don’t want to make my brain work that much.  I’m sorry everybody.  But at the risk of  possibly “crowdsourcing my next post idea to my readers”. . . I think you’ll have some pictures of my supposedly cute kids to look forward to for the next few weeks.  Kind of ironic, when you think about it.