With a title like that, I guess I should save this one for next week, but you’re getting it anyway.
This morning I had a heart-to-heart talk with Jack. He was getting ready for his First Reconciliation (confession), and was worried because he couldn’t think of any sins to confess. I suggested some like “not listening to mom and dad” and “ fighting with Maddie and Ben” and he thought those sounded fine, but told me, “I need something MAJOR to confess!” I told him I didn’t think he really needed something major, not unless something major had actually happened. “Oh!” he said, sounding very relieved. “I thought I needed to have a really good one ready!”
In May, he’ll celebrate his First Holy Communion. Unless we get to it late (ahem), I think he’ll be totally ready.
Maddie and I also had a heart-to-heart talk after coming home from seeing Les Mis back in December. I haven’t shared this one before, because I was totally waffling on this one. On the one hand, it’s a very private moment between Maddie and me. On the other hand, I really don’t want to forget it! I don’t think I’d be sharing it with you if I hadn’t gone private, but for the 7 of you still reading…keep your lips zipped.
So we’re driving home from the movie and Maddie’s sitting in the passenger seat. I take a deep breath figuring now was as good a time as any: she was a captive audience, we didn’t have to look at each other, and there were no pesty brothers in the car. I began, “Maddie, I just wanted to let you know that you any time you want to talk about—"
And here she interrupted me by holding out her arm toward me with her palm facing flat at me. “NO!” she said.
“What"?”I answered.
“Just…NO.”
“Honey, that’s fine, we don’t have to talk about anything now, I’m just saying that if you ever DO want to talk about sex or anything, I hope you feel like you can ask me. We’ll both be embarrassed, but I think I’m a better source of information than the kids on the school bus.”
At this point she turned her head, raised her eyebrows, and gave me a look. “Well, look who’s tooting her own horn!” she quipped.
Oh my. (Here I let a few seconds pass where I frantically tried to control the laughter that wanted to burst forth from my very soul.)
“Well, I’d like to think I know more about sex than a middle schooler!” I told her. (*Note to my teenage children reading this in the future…Daddy and I mostly just like to snuggle while watching Modern Family reruns.)
And that was the end of that.
Luckily, Ben has been smooth sailing lately. The biggest heart-to-heart type talk we had going was something like,
Me: “Dude. You are killing me with this room.”
Ben: “I know.”
Me: “So, what, this is all an evil plot to kill your mother?”
Ben: “Haha. No okay, I’ll clean it.”
Niiiiice and easy, thankyouveryuch! By the way, I’ve already told my Modern Family Snuggle Partner that he is in charge of the sex talks with the boys. Let’s hope his go better than mine did.
3 comments:
I hate The Talk. I prefer The View.
The Talk.....is there ever an easy way to do it? Me thinks not! I can't remember if it's 7th or 8th grade health class but they will get the TALK and a whole lot more! Not that we should just leave it up to the teachers but maybe girls just don't want to hear it from their mothers.
Maybe if mom and dad both sit down together, no that would be even worse.
Try again another time. Good luck!
Zipped.
And been trying to figure out how to handle my upcoming talk. (I don't care that my kids are boys, Matt is absolutely not in charge of this one.) The last time I had one, he told his fourth grade class that I told him to tell the class not to laugh at girls with blood on their pants. You're welcome previously-fourth grade moms. I promise to do a better job this time.
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