Out of the Mouths of Babes

Yes, that was my child who told the priest and the entire congregation this morning that his mom called the police because a possum was in the yard.

The monthly children’s mass makes me nervous.  Father has all the children join him on the floor up front, where he delivers a simplified homily just for them.  He also asks them lots of questions, and then he announces their answers into his microphone, so that even those in the far-away cheap seats get to hear their chucklingly adorable responses.

Last month, Father asked the children what they were giving up for Lent.  The children’s responses varied from “gum” to “my DS” to “M&M’s”.  One child told us he was giving up drinking.  That one got a good laugh, but I’m sure his parents were cringing and explaining that one after mass.

About three years ago, Father asked if anyone had ever broken a rule, and Ben told Father that his mother had, that time she was speeding and the police car pulled her over near the railroad track (I was going 7 above in a 25 mph zone as the speed limit was changing from 35 down to 25.  Don’t get me started on how unfair THAT was).  But now everyone knew it without the background information.

So, the possum.  Let me give you ALL the details.

A few weeks ago, a possum staggered through our front yard and into the neighbor’s yards. First of all, we rarely see possums (or is it just possum?) wandering around all ho-hum during daylight, and secondly, he was wobbling around like a drunken frat possum.  And lastly, it was about 15 minutes away from school bus drop off.  When I pictured what I assumed was a rabid possum attacking innocent children as they walked home from the school bus, I started to get a little nervous.  I couldn’t find a number for Animal Control or Rabid Possum Anonymous, so I dialed 911, apologized for the call and explained the situation. 

A few minutes later I got a call from our local police who listened to my story but basically told me there was nothing they could do.  Then I drove to the bus stop and warned the other parents there to keep an eye out for our rabid little friend.  I probably overreacted.

And now I really regret making the call because everyone attending our church this morning had a little something extra to discuss over lunch today:   me.  The Crazy Woman With a Possum in her Yard Who One Time Speeded Near the Train Tracks.