Q & A With Beth!

The fan mail has been pouring in, and with it, lots of questions about yours truly.  I’m going to take a moment to answer some of your questions, and hope you’ll feel free to ask me a question in the comment section anytime, or perhaps get up your nerve to approach me at the bus stop or at the checkout line in the grocery store.  No unauthorized photos, though, please.


Q:  Beth, I have a feeling your house is clean and orderly.  Any tips for us?
A:  I think you have mistaken me for another blogger.
 
Q:  I believe your children mentioned Legos during Sunday’s mass, in addition to possums.  Care to elaborate?
A:  I had blocked this memory, as by this time in the Children’s Homily, my own children were misbehaving, and my Mad Mother Eyes were boring into them with the intensity of a thousand white burning suns, which I think may have temporarily shorted out my memory cells.  Anyway, yes, Father asked if anyone had ever found a toy which had been lost, and just that morning, Jack and Ben had had a tussle over the ownership of a Lego Dude.  So Jack informed Father that “my brother stole a Lego from me this morning” to which Ben replied “No, I didn’t!” then gave him a shove.  Oh, it’s all coming back to me now.  I’m going to take a break to hang my head in shame.

<Sigh>  I’m back now.

Q:  How is your diet coming along?
A:  Well, I have lost six pounds, which is fine, I guess.  I could have gained six pounds instead, so maybe since I didn’t gain six pounds, we could really say I am down 12 pounds (the six I lost and the six I didn’t gain).  I am still trying though.

Q:  If you could make up a cute nickname for you and your husband, something along the TomKat and Brangelina lines, what would it be?
A:  I already refer to us as Deth, and sometimes Beave.

Q:  I’ve noticed the lack of pictures on your blog lately.  What’s up with that?
A:  Well, Dave has taken over my laptop, as he is starting his own business as a manufacturer’s rep., and although my in-laws have generously donated their old laptop for me to use, I can’t download my pictures onto it.  So when I want to include pictures, I have to beg Dave to let me use his (my) laptop, and promise him all sorts of sordid favors.  You know, like washing his car and stuff.  Okay, I don’t have to do any sordid favors, but he grumbles at me the whole time because he’s afraid I’ll somehow download a virus and wipe out everything.  Which is valid.  I guess.  So mostly, I just haven’t been including pictures. 

Q:  Beth, you are a gorgeous goddess.  How do you do it?
A:  Windex and lima beans.

Q:  What is your favorite kind of angle?
A  I would have to say it’s a tie between obtuse and right.

Q:  Any new projects on the horizon?
A:  I’ve been hired by a local school district to take over after a second grade teacher goes on maternity leave, sometime in mid-April.  Gosh, I remember going on maternity leave so, so, so, so, long ago.  So young.  So naive.  So huge and full of heartburn.  Thank you, dear Lord, that I am not the one going on maternity leave.  Amen.