Yesterday morning, Herbie asked if he could watch the live coverage of Punxsutawney Phil’s Groundhog Day forecast. Apparently, Phil is his cousin a couple of times removed. We flipped on the channel and gave him priority seating, and he was one happy guinea pig.
Phil, as we all know, saw his shadow and predicted another 6 weeks of winter. Jack and Ben cheered, since we’ve only had two snows so far and they wanted more. But Herbie?
He gave me a look. One of those knowing looks that pass between two mammals when they want to share something away from the innocent ears of the children. I picked him up and took him into Dave’s office for a private talk.
“Dude,” he said, “It was rigged!”
“What?!” I exclaimed. “That’s crazy! Herbie, why on earth would the Groundhog’s Day prediction be rigged?”
“I totes don’t know, but it was. I clearly saw Phil whisper ‘early spring’ to the handler. Why the handler decided to lie is beyond me.” Herbie shrugged his little piggy shoulders and sighed. “Maybe he’s getting a kickback from the snowblower/shovel corporations or something. All I know is, the dude lied to the world. And I can prove it.”
“What? How?” I asked. And he told me.
I waited until Maddie came home from school so we had a witness, and we took him outside where he asked me to hold him up so he could sniff the wind. Also he wanted to air out his privates. Don’t ask me…it’s a guinea pig thing.
Then I gently set him on the concrete… and he was right.
No shadow. Early spring. Phil had been betrayed by those closest to him. And I have the word of a guinea pig and a 6th grader to back me up.
I am taking this information as high as it will go, possibly even to President Obama himself, if necessary. I realize just how dangerous a situation we are in now. I worry, in fact, that the Punxsutawney Inner Circle will try to “take care of us”, if you know what I mean. Please. Pray for us. Contact your congressman. Get the word out. We have all been cursed to have six more weeks of winter, when, in fact, we should be expecting an early spring. This is cruel, unfair, and utterly reprehensible.
To Phil: We have your back. We will prevail. Also, Herbert says Hey.
7 comments:
Holy Cow. Or Rodent. We watched it live and I had no idea, but that picture is proof. I'm sending Mauree and email.
On a related note, do guinnea pigs smell as much as a hamster?
I totally believe it. How can Phil NOT see his shadow with a bunch of dashingly dressed old guys huddled around and camera flashes going off. I think Phil can't see anything for all the flashes anyway. It is rigged. Herbie is so right and should run for Phil's position. I think you should start a new thing in your area for your local t.v. station where Herbie predicts the weather!!!
BTW... in the first picture of the Herbster... is he packing on a little weight?? Give that sweet pig a kiss from me. He is the cutest thing ever!!!
LOL! This is a cute post. Glad that Herbie is able to give you the inside scoop! Spring is just around the corner!
YIKES! I just read this post and had no idea the mystery and intrigue you have been caught up in over the past 48 hours! Such a scandalous scandal! Since I'm a well-known photographer for a major local newspaper, I can use my connections in the media to get this story out to the masses! (DISCLAIMER: That last sentence was full of lies, lies, and more lies.)
Well I have to agree with Herb, something is very wrong here with these woodchucks.By the looks of their size I would say they pay them in extra food to give the prediction they want us to hear.Way to go Herb for uncovering this trick.
Nancy Jo
Do you need protection? I would be happy to lend you my black furry beast for a few weeks, until this all blows over.... of course, he will need a corner to cower in if anyone were to walk by your house, ring your doorbell or if the wind changes direction.
Are you sure you don't see the tiniest little shadow under him?
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