Day 2-Animal Kingdom

Alternate Title: Who Stopped the Kali River Rapids??

We headed to Animal Kingdom on our second day because Undercover Tourist told us it would be a good choice.  They were right again, AK never got too crowded, and even though we worked the Fastpass system, we probably didn’t need to.

We got to the park as it opened and headed straight to Expedition Everest.

We all looooove Expedition Everest, except Jack, who really doesn’t like most roller coasters or scary rides, and Expedition Everest counts as both.  Dave rode with the big kids once, then took Jack to ride Kilimanjaro Safaris, while I rode it two more times with Maddie and Ben.

Here are Dave, Maddie, and Ben, in the second and third seats of the coaster:

Dave let Jack take pictures of the animals he saw on the safari ride.  Their ride was excellent!

They saw so many animals up close!  When I joined them with Maddie and Ben, our ride together was pretty boring.  There were very few animals out and any that were out were far away.  Everyone looked like this for most of the ride:

After the safari ride, people started getting a little grumpy.  We headed over to the Dinosaur area thinking maybe they would like to run around on the Boneyard play area they have there.  Only Jack really wanted to run around though, Maddie and Ben walked around half-heartedly, which made me a little sad to think that they’ve outgrown playgrounds. We soon headed over to the Primeval Whirl.   Primeval Whirl is very much like the Mouse ride at Hersheypark, it’s very tame, but Jack still needed to be talked into this one.

But he loved it!

                                                                         Ta da!  Jack rode a roller coaster! 

But then disaster struck!  As he was running (because Jack doesn’t walk anywhere) down the off ramp, he tripped and fell and skinned both knees, which required two band-aids.  He was brave though.

We thought this might be a good time for a lunch break.  We headed to the Flame Tree Barbecue, which is located at the entrance to the Dinosaur section and I have to tell you, this may have been the best meal we ate while we were in Disney! The menu was varied and somewhat healthy, Dave and Ben shared a barbecued chicken and ribs platter, Maddie had a delicious smoked turkey with cranberry mayo sandwich, Jack had chicken legs, and I had the pork barbecue sandwich.  The seating was behind the Flame Tree stand, and was lovely.  We sat in a gazebo right on the lake:  breezy and shady and perfect.

There were a lot of friendly ducks walking around.

Notice Jack posing for the photo…for some reason he turned into a child model (not model child) for the remainder of our stay…you’ll see…

After lunch we headed to Dinosaur.  I made Jack ride this one and I regretted it.  He was terrified!  Everyone else loved it, but I had my arm around Jack and my hand over his eyes for the entire ride.  Here’s a photo I snapped of the photo Disney snapped of us while a giant T-Rex (off camera) is attacking our car:

                                                                                                                      Oh my.  Scarred for life.

We decided to perk him up with the Kali River Rapids ride.  It was a hot day, and there are no plunges, just lots of water falling and splashing onto you here and there.  I didn’t want to get wet though, so I had planned ahead, and packed 5 plastic ponchos I got at Walmart for 88 cents each (that’s an 800% savings from the ones they sell at the park!)  Dave and Jack each thought they might like a poncho too, but Maddie and Ben decided to brave it.  I got the ponchos out of my backpack, but did not remove them from their individual pouches.  This proved to be a devastating error, people.

The line to the Rapids was shorter than we thought.  All of a sudden, we realized we were next to board a raft.  I began quickly removing the ponchos from each pouch.  I threw one at Dave, and tried to quickly get Jack’s poncho on over his head, but it was hard to find the head opening, and I was afraid he’d suffocate, so as we walked onto the raft, I was still adjusting his poncho.  By now we were on the raft, and my poncho was still in its pouch. Also, I was holding a camera, a backpack, my purse, and Jack’s hat, and my sunglasses kept slipping down as I tried to violently shake my poncho free and jam it over my head.  I couldn’t find the head opening.  By now our raft was moving and I was still standing, trying desperately to find the arm holes and the head hole. 

The Disney Cast Member in charge of getting us seated was furious.  She was yelling “Sit down and fasten your seat belt!” at me.  My family was amused.  The people in line were entertained and watched gleefully.  The other family in the boat with us was horrified that they’d be spending their cruise down the Kali River with an idiot.

I sat and tried to buckle, but my buckle wouldn’t click!  I swear, I jammed it in as hard as I could, but I couldn’t get it to click!  I quickly stood up and sat in the empty seat next to me and tried that buckle, but I got two male clasps and it wouldn’t go.  The screaming lady had disappeared, and I soon realized why when the entire ride stopped.

By now I had found myself a male and a female buckle strap and put them together, although my poncho was on all wrong, my face looking out through plastic, not an opening.  I was hot and flustered and then I looked up and saw the Screaming Cast Member who barked to us that our boat was going to be rerouted off the ride since I couldn’t buckle in time, which meant the innocent family in the boat with us was also going to have to get off and wait in line again.  I was horrified.  I felt so bad.  But I pointed at my buckle and yelled through my plastic poncho that I had indeed buckled myself, we were good to go, please couldn’t we just ride the ride?  But she shook her head no and left.

I apologized profusely to the family, who were so nice and understanding.  My own dear children wavered between extreme embarrassment and cruel snickers.  Dave wrote up divorce papers in his head and tried hard to hide his own smirk.

An eternity passed, at least two minutes.  I sat and sweated and tried to maneuver my poncho around and apologized over and over again to the other family. Finally, the ride began to move.  And miracle of miracles, they did not reroute us off the ride, but allowed us to go up the hill and join the other stalled rafts full of smart, coordinated, organized people who had all managed to get seated and buckled in an orderly fashion with no screaming motivation needed from mean cast members.

I really don’t remember much of the ride.  When we got back to the start, I slunk off of the raft hoping no one in line had recorded my blustering and was downloading their video to YouTube.  I really could have sat down and cried at this point, but you can’t do that when you have three children watching your every move, so I laughed it off and left the ride behind, but really, I was the one scarred for life.

To end our day, we headed over to the Maharajah Jungle Trek.  Honestly, nobody wanted to go except Dave.  The kids were hot, I was still humiliated, but he really wanted to do it.  Here’s a picture of him pouting to get his way:

So we went.

We did see lots of animals up close, like giant bats and tigers, but all of us were just kind of pushing ahead to the end.  Also, Maddie was completely soaked and grumpy as a result. 

Jack, however, posed everywhere he could and asked us to “Take a picture of me!” repeatedly.  He is available for modeling, if you’d like to hire him:

And thus ended our day at Animal Kingdom.  We went back to the hotel, had pizza by the pool, and I had a nice ginormous glass of sangria, which helped erase the shame of the day a tiny little bit.

Did You Miss Me?

What?!  You didn’t even notice my week and a half absence?  Fine.  If that’s really all I mean to you people.  I guess you don’t even want to see pictures of my vacation and hear every sordid detail either, do you? 

You don’t? (sad sigh)

Ha!  Well, I have to tell you that two…count’em:   TWO real people actually saw me this morning and said, “Beth!  When are you posting photos and writing every sordid detail of your trip out for us to see?” 

So for those two people, this is for you, and for everyone else, well…I’ll see you next week when my vacation installments have been completed.  So there.

Day One:  Epcot

First of all, let me direct you to this website, Undercover Tourist, which is an excellent site to visit if you’re heading to Disney.  I bought my Disney tickets from there for a good discount, and they arrived within 5 days (I bought Universal tickets from the Universal site, however, they were actually cheaper than Undercover Tourist), and they have a Crowd Calendar which shows the best days to visit each park.  The Crowd Calendar told us that Epcot would be the least crowded park our first day, so that’s why we went there first.

You must arrive at any Disney park as the park opens.  Do not tell me you’re on vacation and you should be allowed to sleep in.  If you want to sleep in, go vacation somewhere else.  All of the parks are at their emptiest and most maneuverable for the first two hours of the day. 

When visiting any Disney park, you need to have your Fastpass System in place ahead of time (I’m not explaining Fastpass here…just telling you how we work the system).  Dave and I usually work it out on the tram ride through the parking lot.  There are not a lot of rides to Fastpass at Epcot, but when we got inside, Dave and the kids headed left to Test Track, while I headed right to Soarin’ where I printed out 5 Fastpasses.  I then headed back to Test Track and rode that one with everyone (they were on their second ride by that point ), then we did the Nemo ride and got this awesome photo:

It’s a tradition!

…and then we headed to Soarin’.  By now, the waits in the line were at about 30 minutes, but we got on in 5 minutes using our Fastpass.  Soarin’ is a great ride, and we all love it.  Don’t miss this ride! 

The Honey, I Shrunk the Kids 3D movie was changed to a really bad 3Dmovie:  Captain EO. Don’t do it!  We all agreed it was cheesy and dumb.

By now, the countries had opened, so we headed over there.  The best thing about the countries is the food.  Instead of eating one meal at a restaurant, we got small meals which we shared, and ate our way around the world.  We got empanadas in Mexico; lamb, couscous, and hummus in Morocco; egg rolls and pot stickers in China, etc.  Everything was delicious, but Dave and I especially loved the Moroccan food.

As you can see, we also tried the very exotic Chicken Finger basket.

The weather was beautiful!  Temperatures were in the eighties and the sky was a brilliant blue.  The park is so spacious, and Undercover Tourist was right, we really never encountered any crowds.  I thought about Tara from Taradactyl a lot when I was here, because she wrote the most awesome blogpost ever about her day in Epcot, just about two weeks before we visited.  Read it, you’ll thank me!

For the first time we tried doing a KimPossible Mission.  There are stands set up around the countries, just stop at one of them and sign up (it’s free).  They give you a “cell phone” and a mission in an assigned country.  The mission takes about 30 minutes to complete, and the KimPossible characters talk to you via the phone and give you clues as to where you should head next.  Your cell phone activates hidden screens/makes puppets move etc. This activity was fun, but lost its appeal kind of quickly.  About 15 minutes into it, the kids were ready to move on to something else (although we did finish the mission).

There aren’t many rides in the Countries.  One that is there is Maelstrom, which we had Fastpassed earlier.  We went back at our assigned time and got right on the ride.  We enjoyed our time there in Norway.

After we finished walking through the countries we headed to the Coke shop across from the main fountain.  Inside is a place where you can try Cokes from around the world for free.  Italy’s Coke is terrible!

Our last ride is always Spaceship Earth (aka, the giant golfball).  This ride is excellent since they’ve revamped it, and you can almost always get on it with a very minimal wait.  After the ride are a lot of fun, interactive games, like virtual shuffleboard and virtual driving.  Look up when you get into the final room, your photo is likely displayed on one of the giant screens!

We had a little fun with the golf ball ourselves this year:

And then we went back to our hotel and went swimming.  Our first five days in Florida, the temps were in the high eighties/low nineties and we took full advantage of the hotel pool.

Now if you’ve stuck with me so far, you’re probably thinking, “Wow, Beth’s biceps must be deceptively strong to have held up that Giant Golfball all on her own.”  Or perhaps you are thinking, “Oh great, another perfect blogpost from another perfect blogger about her perfect family and their perfect vacation.”

Only the first statement is true.

Our first day was really wonderful.  Everyone was excited and in a good mood and not tired or grumpy at all. But if you stick with me over the next few days,  I promise descriptions of being stuck at the top of a major ride, someone in our family causing the shutdown of the Kali River Rapids in Animal Kingdom,  plenty of grumping and tears (mostly from Dave), and Vomiting as a Grand Finale!

A Day at the Bee

Back in December, Maddie won her middle school spelling bee by correctly spelling “dichromatism”.  I don’t know who was more excited…Maddie or me.  I believe I may have mentioned my love of the spelling bee here before.  Winning the bee earned her a chance to compete in the Central Pennsylvania Spelling Bee, which was the step before the National Spelling Bee in Washington DC! 

However, she was not guaranteed a spot in the Central PA bee.  First she needed to pass a written test.  She and the other 144 students who won their school bees took a 100 word spelling test together at the end of January.  The top 36 scorers would earn a seat at the bee.  After an excruciatingly long week of waiting, we got the word that Maddie had made it! 

Now our study time kicked into high gear.  She studied anywhere between 15 and 60 minutes each day.  Some days when her homework load was heavy and she had swim practice, we didn’t get to it at all, but most days she and I studied hard together. 

Finally the big day arrived.  On Saturday, Grandma H. arrived to watch the boys, and Maddie, Dave and I set out for the PBS television studio in Harrisburg.  She did a little last minute studying in the car:

When we got to the studio, we checked in, then had about 15 minutes to kill before they would separate us.  She was in a good mood.  Nervous, but excited.  She even posed with Henry the 8th.

                                                       It’s like they were separated at birth!

We checked out the bios of the competition in the program.  There were 12 boys and 22 girls; seven 6th graders, three 7th graders, and twenty-four 8th graders; 13 spellers were returning from a previous year at the Central PA Bee.  None of them had a guinea pig or were as cute as Maddie (blog author admits to personal bias here).

                                                                                           Ready!

Finally, it was time for the spellers to head off for instructions, and for the parents to take their seats in the studio.    We hugged and kissed and wished her luck, and watched her walk away.  I felt sick to my stomach, but also felt so darn excited for her.

Soon they ushered the kids into the studio.   Here was our view:

That’s right.  The main cameraman was right in front of us.  I couldn’t see her when she was seated or when she was spelling, although Dave could see her when she was spelling.  Luckily there were two tv’s set up so I could see her on the monitors when it was her turn. 

There was also a last minute drama, as one of the spellers hadn’t yet arrived by taping time.  There were a few moments of waiting and deliberation. Finally, they began the “practice round”.  The words in this round were just for practice, they wouldn’t count against the speller if they got their word wrong.  Luckily, none of them did!  The late speller never showed, and the bee began.

Maddie was randomly given the number 13.  Finally, she got her first real turn and her first word, which was “knapsack”. 

                                                                                    She nailed it!

Then she spelled credentials, chronic, and incorruptible.

After round 4 the spellers were given a break, and we could join her.  The adrenaline was pumping, let me tell you!  Turkey Hill and Hershey were two of the bee sponsors so there was an awesome spread of drinks, ice cream, chips and chocolate. 

After twenty minutes, she headed back to the room with a smaller number of spellers than last time, maybe about ten fewer, and the words started getting harder.  Maddie knocked these words out of the ballpark in rounds 5-12:  opossum, terrapin, rapport, mihrab, charpoy, rejoneador. and nurturance.  There was one more word, and we can’t remember it!

But then…in round 13, she got the word pullet.  They defined it as a chicken and used it in a sentence for her.  I could see she didn’t know it.  She asked them for the language of origin and was told it was French. She told me later that she thought of “poultry” and decided to go with “poulet”.  I told her that was excellent thinking and I really meant it.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t the right spelling, the bell dinged, and Maddie was led out of the room by a “comfort person”.  Dave and I headed out too.  I knew she didn’t really need a “comfort person”, but I also knew she’d be crushed.

When we were reunited moments later, she was sad.  She knew all of the words in the round leading up to hers.  But that’s the way a spelling bee is. Sometimes you just get a word that is not a good fit for you!

We told her she was awesome.  We told her we were so proud of her.  I told her I would have gotten “opossum” wrong (I would have spelled it with two p’s), we told her that she had two more years to try again. But she was really, really sad.

                                Don’t worry…she made that sad face for me for artistic purposes. 

Then we helped ourselves to more Hershey/Turkey Hill products.  I still have some big Reese’s Cups in my purse for her!

She ended up finishing in 12th place, which she was really bummed about, because she missed the top 10 by two, and the kids in the top ten got a lot of prizes.  She ended up with a pair of bumblebee socks and free tickets to the Science Museum in Harrisburg and the Civil War Museum in Gettysburg.  Mostly, though, she didn’t care about the prizes, she just couldn’t believe she had been eliminated.

I wanted her to call people and tell them the good news of her excellent placing, but she didn’t want to, and she was quiet on the ride home.  She came home and held Herbie for a little bit. 

By suppertime she had cheered up enough to make some calls, and now I think she’s feeling better about the day. 

Dave and I are just so proud of her.  I remember when we used to be able to spell things in front of her we didn’t want her to understand (“Did you remember to bring her j-u-i-c-e?”)  She is smart.  She’s our best girl.  And now she can spell us under the table.

P.S.-For local friends, the bee aired last night, but will also air on PBS on Wednesday, 2/29 at 7:00 pm, and on Friday, 3/2 at 1:00 pm!  They cut out Rounds 8-13 though and skipped to Round 14, right after she was eliminated.  Bummer.

Memory Lane

On Saturday morning, Dave hooked up our ancient VCR to an old television because Jack found a Steven Courtney videotape he wanted to watch.  It was funny to see Jack acquaint himself with the workings of the VCR.  He had no idea how to insert a videotape, and then he kept pushing open the little door so he could see the videotape inside.  We also had to explain that you couldn’t skip around when watching a videotape, though you could Fastforward and Rewind, and he enjoyed turning that little wheel.

And then Dave found some homemade videotapes labeled  “Maddie’s First Year” and “2001-2002”.  We hadn’t watched any of Maddie’s videotapes ever since we  switched over to digital and ditched the VCR in favor of the DVD player, around the time she was 3. 

I can’t tell you how excited I was!

We all sat on the floor around the old dinosaur of a tv and watched her lay there and gurgle, then crawl (and I had forgotten that she used to crawl with her right leg sticking out, using it like an oar), we watched her take her first steps, we watched her ask for “mo, mo” (more, more),  we saw her open her first Christmas presents, and water the garden, and splash in the baby pool in just a swim diaper so you could really see all those little chunky rolls she had, and then we saw her meet her new baby brother Ben for the first time.  We watched Ben rolling over at around seven weeks old while a jealous, 20 month old Maddie jumped almost on top of him to show us that she could roll too.  Then she stomped away, still in view of the camera, picked up a board book, turned her back on us, and ignored our pleas to come show us how she could also roll over.  Oh my.  Those first months with the two of them were hard.  I remembered that too. 

After awhile I got smart and started taking a few short videos with my phone, which I’ve downloaded onto the computer, since I have a feeling those videotapes won’t last forever and may never be watched again anyway.

I also snapped a photo of the scene that made us all laugh until we all (or at least I) literally cried:

Halfway through her meal of peaches, she got the urge to poop, and so she did.  Though, as you can see, it took some effort. 

We aren’t through watching the second tape yet, and I really just can’t wait.  But those darn tapes have me feeling so old (because I really was younger and cuter and thinner 12 years ago) and yearning for the baby days, which is ridiculous, because I really like where we are right now.  I love their ages, I love that I can talk and joke with them, I love that I have Beth Time back, I love that I sleep all night…

But I really also want  a baby to hold and cuddle and kiss again.

Maybe I can get my bratty brother Dave and the lovely Jamae to work on that problem for me.

This Week

I can’t believe I haven’t blogged since last week!  There just hasn’t been much to say, the weather’s all Februaryish and we’ve been all cooped up with no place to go, except the usual boring old destinations, and I’ve been waiting for those Girl Scout cookies I ordered to appear so I can make them disappear, and I have a chest cold.  I really am a sad, miserable, boring person.

What?  You’re still reading?  You must be desperate.

Let me recap the week for you.

I subbed three times last week in our elementary school’s library, which, though awesome, is where I’m pretty sure I picked up my cold, as I checked in and shelved the books of well over 250 germ-ridden kids in those days.  I got to have Ben in one of my library classes, which was really nice!  I’ve never subbed for one of my kids before.  He told me ahead of time not to hug him or embarrass him.  I don’t think I did either of those things, but I did call him Benjy at one point, and I heard a girl say, “Did she just call you Benjy?” and I thought quick and said, “No!  I said, ‘Ben, see.’”  No one can beat me in the quick retort arena.  Jack walked by the library with his class a few times and waved like crazy and blew kisses at me.  He would have been totally cool with a hug and a nickname, I tell you.

I ate Mexican food three times this week!  The first time was with Dave’s extended family, the second time was lunch with Dave on Valentine’s Day, and the third time was with friends.  I feel like I really am picking up on the culture and language of our Mexican neighbors as a result.  I frequently find myself saying “Si” instead of yes, I’ve taken to wearing a sombrero around the house for fun, and I’ve been trying to wrap everything in tortillas and cover it all with cheese, which has generally worked surprisingly well, except maybe with Lucky Charms and pickles.

Dave and I shared a romantic Valentine’s evening at Jack’s Tiger Scout meeting, where we were in charge of the proceedings; our assigned theme was “The Food Pyramid”.  The unfortunate juxtaposition of my lovingly prepared valentine meal for my family (lasagna, by the way---which I had planned to cut into heart shapes with a cookie cutter, but didn’t because I just didn’t have time) and the Tiger Scout meeting, resulted in me yelling, “Eat! Eat!  What is with you pokey people?” at the children more than once, then throwing the brownie covered Oreos I had baked and painstakingly drizzled pink chocolate hearts onto earlier in the day, at them, and then hustling out the door.  Nice.  Very loving.

Maddie had the little plastic things in her braces changed at her ortho appointment this week.  She chose green because St. Patrick’s Day is the next holiday, and now every time she smiles I have to stop myself from telling her she has lettuce caught in her braces.

I’m hosting neighborhood bunko here tonight, so as you can imagine, I am cleaning the house like a crazy woman and getting all of my food ready, and I will be barking at the children to use the upstairs bathrooms only after school so there are no surprises in the downstairs toilet or on that toilet seat come 7 p.m.  I’m trying two new Pinterest recipes, Red Velvet Cheesecake Brownies and Caramel Topped Shortbread.  The brownie covered Oreos I made on Valentine’s Day were not a hit.  They came out a little dry and hard, so I’m hoping Pinterest doesn’t let me down again.

Can you see now why I haven’t really blogged much this week?  And aren’t you glad I didn’t blog much this week?

photo source                       Someday, I’mma get me one a these.

Red Velvet Whoopie Pies

Nothing says central Pennsylvania quite like a whoopie pie. Unless, of course, it’s an Amish buggy traffic jam or stinkbug infestations or a local population who uses the word “yous” to represent “you guys” or “y’all”.  Of course, central PA (and we do call ourselves by the letters---say ‘central Pee-Aye’) is also rolling hills and green farmlands and the sweet fragrance of Hershey’s chocolate in the air.  But I digress.

Someone told me recently that Maine thinks they invented the whoopie pie.  I have not actually checked my facts on this,  but I’m here to say, the whoopie pie was definitely from around here first, from the folks who also gave us shoo-fly pie and scrapple and horse-and-buggy traffic jams, and if yous people in Maine want to come down here to our rolling hills and stinkbugs and have a whoopie pie bakeoff, I would be up to the challenge.  Frankly, Maine, you stick with blueberries and lobsters and…whatever else comes from Maine.  We’ve got the whoopie pie covered, thankyouverymuch.

Your basic whoopie pie is created using two soft, yet sturdy chocolate cookies with a granulated sugar frosting in between (not confectioner’s sugar, because they didn’t have that back when the whoopie pie was invented.  Here.)  Now that the rest of the world has picked up on the whoopie pie, there are a lot of variations, probably none of which originate here, (and most of which use a confectioner’s sugar frosting) which include red velvet whoopie pies, whoopie pies with peanut butter frosting, pumpkin whoopie pies, chocolate chip whoopie pies, and so on. 

I’ve always made the basic whoopie pie, but thought I’d try doing a red velvet whoopie pie for a recent Super Bowl party.  I almost put blue frosting in the middle so they’d match the colors of the competing teams, but I restrained myself and went with white.    I used my whoopie pie recipe, which came from my former teacher aide, Kelly M., and googled how much red food coloring I should add. Google told me a whole bottle of red food coloring!  Which I thought was a lot.  I tried adding just half the bottle and it was a mistake.  They turned out more aubergine than red.  

I also made a cream cheese frosting, since that’s what usually goes with red velvet, but in the end, I think I liked the traditional frosting better, so I’ll give you both recipes.


Red Velvet Whoopie Pies
1 c. oil
2 c. brown sugar
2 eggs
3 c. flour
1 t. baking soda
8 T. cocoa powder
1 c. milk
1-1/2 t. vanilla
1 ounce bottle red food coloring

~Cream oil and brown sugar.  Add all other ingredients except food coloring and mix well.  Add food coloring and mix well.
~Let mixture stand for a half hour.
~Drop by teaspoons onto a greased cookie sheet.  Try to drop them in a nice circular shape, as they will stay that shape when you bake them.  Also, try to keep them all the same size as they will need to be partnered up with a matching cookie later!
~Bake 8 minutes in a preheated, 375 degree oven.  Cool, then find matching cookies and sandwich them together with frosting.

Cream Cheese Frosting
1 softened,  8 oz. brick of cream cheese
1 softened stick of butter
3 c.confectioner’s sugar
1 t. vanilla
~Mix ingredients, must be refrigerated. 

Traditional Frosting
1/2 lb. butter
1 c. crisco
2 c. granulated sugar
1 c. milk
2 rounded t. flour
2 t. vanilla
~Mix all ingredients in a standing mixer at high speed for 15 minutes (you are melting the gran. sugar!)

I hope yous all enjoy the recipe.

I am linking this recipe with many other yummy recipes at Foodie Friday.

Valentine Decisions

The weeks before Valentine’s Day rolls around we usually take a much anticipated trip to Walmart or Target and look through all the valentines for the style that each kid likes the best.  Traditionally, Maddie picked cute or funny animals, Ben looked for the Lego ones or maybe Spongebob, and Jack got whatever cartoon character struck his fancy the most that year.  After that, we’d head to the candy aisle where each of them would pick out a bag of candy so they’d have something to attach to their valentines.  Also, I would get a bag of red cherry juju hearts because they are awesome.

This year I found two ideas on Pinterest that I really liked, and I showed them to the boys (Maddie’s in middle school and they don’t exchange valentines anymore.  Pout.)  For one valentine, you take a picture of your child wearing a fake mustache, and then bling it up in Picasa (or some photo editing site) to say, “I mustache you a question….Will You Be My Valentine?”  It was very cute, but no one liked it. (You can click on my Pinterest button on the right, and then click on my Valentine Board to see both ideas by the way).

Jack decided he liked the other design, and I reminded him that if we went with this one, he would not be picking out valentines at Walmart this year.  I wanted that to be very clear, that once we made these valentines, he was locked in, baby.  He nodded his assent and signed a three page document that I had notarized.  Ben, by the way, still wanted to pick his out at Walmart.

Last Saturday, Jack and I went out in the backyard and took this photo:

And then I went to Picasa (which is free photo editing and storage---which is very convenient, by the way,  in that every time you open it up, it automatically uploads any new photos on your computer to its site.  I like that my photos are backed up somewhere else…just in case) and Jack and I made this using Picnik in Picasa:

Which probably still doesn’t make sense to you.  But check this out:

He’s holding the lollipop in his hand!  So cute.  The example on Pinterest had the child holding a Tootsie Pop which definitely would have worked better, as this lollipop covers up the words at the top and a little bit of his face, but he wanted the Jolly Ranchers, so that’s what we got.

By the way, after the boys and I picked up the pictures at the Walmart photo center, we headed over to the Valentine section so that Ben could pick out his valentines, and I’m not kidding, they had Angry Bird valentines which offered a bonus poster and Angry Bird sticker set, which Jack immediately decided he wanted instead.  As I was standing there holding the pack of photos we had just had printed out.

I pulled out the notarized Valentine Contract, reminded him of our agreement, suggested I would not be against suing him for damages (both monetary and personal anguish) and then I told him he could buy the Angry Bird valentines with his own money if he really wanted them, and he did.

When he got them home he decided he would give them to friends who were not in his classroom, like cousins, neighbors, and his Sunday School class.  So I did not have to sue him for mental anguish after all, which was a relief.

Ben picked out lovely Mad Lib valentines with Nerds to go along with them, which was very nice, except a few days later he made his own valentines with gun-toting army guys on them, printed them out in black and white, and told me he had decided to use his instead.  Which is fine except that I’m totally bugged by the fact that he printed them out in black and white! 

Will the mental anguish never end?!

Groundhog Day EXPOSED!

Yesterday morning, Herbie asked if he could watch the live coverage of Punxsutawney Phil’s Groundhog Day forecast.  Apparently, Phil is his cousin a couple of times removed.  We flipped on the channel and gave him priority seating, and he was one happy guinea pig.

Phil, as we all know, saw his shadow and predicted another 6 weeks of winter.  Jack and Ben cheered, since we’ve only had two snows so far and they wanted more.  But Herbie?

He gave me a look.  One of those knowing looks that pass between two mammals when they want to share something away from the innocent ears of the children.  I picked him up and took him into Dave’s office for a private talk.

“Dude,” he said, “It was rigged!”

“What?!” I exclaimed.  “That’s crazy!  Herbie, why on earth would the Groundhog’s Day prediction be rigged?”

“I totes don’t know, but it was.  I clearly saw Phil whisper ‘early spring’ to the handler.  Why the handler decided to lie is beyond me.”  Herbie shrugged his little piggy shoulders and sighed.  “Maybe he’s getting a kickback from the snowblower/shovel corporations or something.  All I know is, the dude lied to the world.  And I can prove it.”

“What?  How?”  I asked.  And he told me.

I waited until Maddie came home from school so we had a witness, and we took him outside where he asked me to hold him up so he could sniff the wind.  Also he wanted to air out his privates.  Don’t ask me…it’s a guinea pig thing.

Then I gently set him on the concrete… and he was right.

 

No shadow.  Early spring.  Phil had been betrayed by those closest to him.  And I have the word of a guinea pig and a 6th grader to back me up. 

I am taking this information as high as it will go, possibly even to President Obama himself, if necessary.  I realize just how dangerous a situation we are in now.  I worry, in fact, that the Punxsutawney Inner Circle will try to “take care of us”, if you know what I mean. Please.  Pray for us. Contact your congressman.  Get the word out.  We have all been cursed to have six more weeks of winter, when, in fact, we should be expecting an early spring.  This is cruel, unfair, and utterly reprehensible. 

To Phil:  We have your back.  We will prevail.  Also, Herbert says Hey.

Homemade PopTarts

This may be my lamest recipe ever.

Right now homemade PopTarts are going around on Pinterest (do you see my new Pinterest button over there on the right?)  I thought they looked so cute!  I liked the idea of making PopTarts without all the preservatives and stuff that make up the 25 ingredient list on the box. Also, since my kids do like PopTarts I figured they would think I was awesome for making some homemade ones!

But after I made these, I thought, “This may be the lamest thing I’ve ever made for them besides a bowl of cereal.”  Because basically, I realized that PopTarts are just jam pies with sprinkles.

One recipe floating around called for making a homemade crust.  Ha!  That was a knee slapper!  I went out and bought me a box of Pillsbury pie crusts.

Then I cut one into a square:

And then I cut that into a bunch of rectangles and put some pastry filling on half of them (the pastry filling was leftover from some thumbprint cookies I made at Christmas, but you can use any jam):

Then I put another rectangle on each of those and sealed them around the edges with a fork:

Bake those babies in a 425 degree oven for 7-8 minutes.  While they’re baking, make a glaze for them using powdered sugar (about a 1/2 cup), a drizzle of milk, and a 1/4 t. of vanilla.  It should be about the consistency of syrup.  That’s not a lot of milk!  Maybe only a few tablespoons!  Add your food coloring.  I decided to make mine pink, but I used a bit too much food coloring and they look almost radioactive. Less is more, people.

Drizzle on the glaze and give it a sprinkle of sprinkles.  I think they look awful, but Maddie and Jack devoured them.   Ben (my pickiest eater) took one look at them, wrinkled his nose slightly, and said, “I think I’ll just get one out of the box.”  And then he did.

I tried taking pictures of Maddie and Jack eating them, but they were not cooperating.  Do they not know I have a blog to write?  I said, “Try to look like you’re enjoying them!”  And this is what I got:

She’s really going to regret that photo someday.

This was the best he could do?  After I slaved away in the kitchen on these PopTarts for 4 whole minutes?  Hmph.

I think this would be a fun recipe to do with your children.  But maybe I’ll just stick with pancakes on Saturday morning from now on.