If you recall, in my last post I asked for some help with my writer’s block, and you guys came through with flying colors! I requested that commenters give me any number from 0 to 8,092, and I would use those corresponding photos in my next post (this one) strung together into something of a story. I got eight responses on here and one response on Facebook, so now it is my job to produce some kind of blogpost, stringing those nine photos together.
If this blogpost stinks, I’m blaming you people for choosing such crappy photos. Just so you know that from the start.
So….
How to Drive Your Mother Crazy in Eight Simple Steps:
1. Squish your little selves onto a pig, and push and cajole for the best spot until everyone is crying and someone eventually falls off.
Photo chosen by Pam via Facebook, #2011, in honor of her son Vincent’s birth year. Thanks Pam!
2. When posing with your siblings and cousin after an egg hunt, shake your fist at the camera and say, “Why I oughta…” real menacing.
Photo chosen by Mary, #1979, in honor of the year she got married. Thanks Mary! And Happy 33rd Anniversary!
3. Massage your Cream of Wheat into your hair, and then cry when Mom attempts to clean you up.
Photo chosen by Tara, #2127. This number does not represent her pant size. Thanks Tara!
4. When Mom begs you to “please smile for the camera!”, put on your shades, suck on your lollipop, and look the other way. That’s right, my friends, do not make eye contact with your mother.
Photo chosen by Maria, #3,333. Thanks and hi Maria!
5. You’re at the beach, it’s family photo time, maybe even Christmas card photo time, but trust me…there’s never a wrong time to give a little shove to your brother.
Even when you’re thirty feet up on the railing of a walkway over a sand dune. Go for it!
Photo chosen by Kathryn, #1217, in honor of her daughter, Jemma’s birthday. Thanks, Kathryn!
6. Wear the kitchen table on your head.
Photo chosen by Jaime, #753. Thanks Jaime! (Doggone it, isn’t Jack cute in that picture? How could he have ever driven me crazy??)
7. Man I used to be thin. I mean, not thin-thin. But way thinner than now. Hmmm. If you really want to drive your mother crazy, show her pictures of herself when she was thinner, but thought she was fat, but really wasn’t, and then say something like, “Mom, do you have a baby in your belly?” or “I love how you’re so squishy, mom!”
Photo chosen by Sue, #1506. Thanks so much for the reminder, Sue. (I’m shaking my fist at you and saying “Why, I oughta…” right now).
8. Someday you will be too big to hold your stuffed kitty while sucking on your pacifier and reading books with your sister at bedtime. It will drive mom crazy when she sees you now, a big boy who prefers his xbox to her company, a big girl who no longer needs books with pictures, a reminder that those baby years, though challenging and fraught with frustration and boredom (on the part of the mother) are fleeting and precious. Sniff, sniff.
Photo chosen by Deb,"#40, in honor of her 40th birthday, just last week! Thanks, Deb!
Bonus Section--Ways to Make Your Mom Happy:
1. When it’s your turn to be in the Hairdresser’s Chair, not only should you allow the girls to fill your hair with barrettes, but you can even help them by combing it out for them and making suggestions like, “Anyone want to paint my toenails?” or “Wouldn’t I look awesome in a kickin’ beret?”
Photo chosen by Stephanie, #45. Thanks and hi, Stephanie!
6 comments:
Great job taking our random numbers and making a cohesive, coherant post! I'll give you my blogger password and you can do the same for me. Also, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I was really admiring your thighs in your beach picture. For those of us who never knew thighs so thin and non-cellulite like that, they truly are a thing of beauty. Are things too weird now?
Awesome job girlfriend!! I honestly love looking back at your old pictures, maybe this could be a monthly post. Love Maddie's hair in the first picture and another great shot of Dave's forearms, well done!!
Awww, yay! I loved my picture.
Maybe we need to post pictures of ourselves when we actually WERE pregnant, but tell everyone we WEREN'T pregnant, and then we can feel better about skinnier ourselves NOW. Except that I pretty much weigh what I did when I was pregnant. Crud.
Adorable - every single one!
A great peek at your backstory.
I love all of these pictures! It must have been fun walking down memory lane while you did this very cute post! :)
What a brilliant post! Not that children try to drive their mothers crazy, but your idea to do this! Brilliant! Sorry that my picture brought up sad memories of your precious children trying to shove each other off a boardwalk! That picture of Jack's smile under the table is precious!!!!
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