Lately I’ve been getting the feeling that you don’t like me. I’m sure I must be wrong, because I’m a really nice guinea pig! I’ve noticed, however, that when you have visited and Jack holds me and follows you around, you squeal like a little girl and seem to run in rather the opposite direction from me, which is confusing.
I mean, what’s not to love?
This could be you, Stephanie. This could be your face I am gently caressing with my hind foot! Think of the fun we’d have together!
I am a fan of yours you know.
Maybe you could try a little harder to be a fan of mine too. I’m just saying, it would be nice.
I wonder if perhaps you have me confused with another type of rodent who gets in your cupboards and eats your food or who leaves droppings around your kitchen or who perhaps skitters across your pillow in the middle of the night. That would not be me. I like carrots that are placed lovingly in my bowl. I am cage-trained for heaven’s sake and would no more poop on your floor than you would poop in the sink (or perhaps I’m making assumptions here I shouldn’t). Also, I would never skitter across your pillow in the middle of the night! I have manners, Stephanie! I is kind. I is smart. I is important.
My name is Herbie. I am a rodent. But I have feelings too.
Love,
Herbert D. D. Wolfe
P.S. I hear today is your birthday! Best wishes! My mom could arrange a playdate for us if you’re interested, and I'll bring the cake!
6 comments:
Herbie,
Let me just start by saying how flattered and honored I feel by this blog post. I've never had a whole post dedicated to me, so thank you for that. However, the fear I feel when I'm around you is real. Some may say irrational but real to me nonetheless. Those teeth, the beady little eyes, sharp claws and a rodent-like body just give me the heebie-jeebies. And that my friend is a serious medical condition. So please don't take this too personally. I really enjoy your whole family and I enjoy visiting your lovely home. I just wish you lived in a deep dark corner of the basement. Like I said nothing personal.
So...that would be no playdate then?
:( Herbie
HA! I guess Herbie can hang out with Mae Mobley if Stephanie isn't willing.
Awesome!!!! You is important.
Maybe if Herbie had a pedicure ... just sayin'.
Cute! Love Herbie! :)
Steph,
Does he give you the heebie-jeebies, or is it the "Herbie-jerbies"? Sorry, I couldn't help it. Oh, and happy belated birthday!
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