Sunday, November 18, 2012

Squelching the Rumors

We had a super lazy weekend.  Nothing planned except for flu shots.

maddie shot

Everything went smoothly, with no crying.  Click here to see how flu shots went three years ago.  It’s a nice reminder that sometimes when the kids get bigger and more mature, it’s a good thing.  Jack actually went first for the shot, but he didn’t want me to take his picture.  Maddie did a little dance for him to make him forget about the shot, so in the picture above, Maddie is watching Jack dance for her.  Ben remained quietly behind me while the two of them got their shots, and didn’t cry when it was his turn, but did give me a panicked look, so I put down the camera and hugged my boy.

On Sunday morning, Maddie’s PREP (or Sunday School) class was in charge of the children’s monthly mass.  She and another girl got to read the announcements, and she did great, no spitting, tripping. or unintentional swear words slipping out (as you can imagine, she’s got to be so careful about that last one).

maddie in church

We were sitting in the front row because it was also “Enrollment” Sunday for the Second Grade class, which means that Father had the second graders stand and he asked them questions about their intent to love God and Jesus, etc. since it is their year to take First Holy Communion (in May).  Jack said “yes” to everything except the first question when I whispered to him, “Say ‘I do’!” so he did, but then Father asked the kids to say “yes” and I got a dirty look from Jack.  Hmph.  Last time I try to help.

So, now we get to the rumors I am squelching.  

I am way worried that my church congregation thinks Dave and I are either separated or just really don’t like each other, because since August, we have been arriving at church at different times (or even attending different masses) for a varied number of reasons (for instance, today I had to attend a 9:00 meeting during PREP time, so Dave joined me later for mass.  I tried waiting with the kids in the back for him, but I was worried there wouldn’t be seats left in the front for the second graders, so we went in without him). 

Here are some more reasons we are arriving at different times (I am thinking of having this posted in the church bulletin, what do you think?):

-from mid-August to mid-September, Dave went in early so he could speak/sign people up for the golf tournament he and some friends were organizing.

-Twice Ben was altar server for the early mass and we decided to let Maddie sleep, so she, Jack, and I went to the later mass.

-Maddie and I were away for the swim clinic weekend.

-Dave took the boys to the early service on Jack’s birthday so they could attend an open house at the Sportsman’s Club later that morning.  Maddie and I went to the later service.

-Last week, we arrived together, but Dave took Jack to the bathroom, and the big kids and I walked in and sat down, before I realized my error.

-And of course, this week, with my 9:00 meeting, we sat down and Dave arrived 10 minutes later just as Maddie was about to read the opening announcements.  You know the busybodies were whispering about that.

Dave thinks I’m crazy.  Dave thinks I’m hypersensitive.  Dave thinks I care too much what other people think.  Dave refuses to give me more than a peck on the lips during Sign of Peace even though I have begged him for a more…extended Sign of Peace, shall we say.  Dave refuses to engage in a makeout session with me after church in the vestibule, which I just know would stop those tongues from wagging (or at least cause them to wag about how inappropriately in love we are with each other.).  So I have to be content with smiling at him a lot, and faking silent laughter at his nonexistent jokes, and picking imaginary lint off of his collar in a loving, possessive way, which can be exhausting.

So, people, we are still totally in love with each other, so stop all the talk and fuss, you should all be ashamed of your darn selves. 

What Would Jesus Do?  He would say, “Beth and Dave, you guys rock, and also, stop making out, that’s totes disgusting.”

6 comments:

corners of my life said...

Rumors are fun to analyze so don't squelch them too soon. This happened to us when I was newly pregnant staying home being horribly nauseated. Jim went every where alone and people "talked". Little did they know . . .

stephanie said...

We live in a very small town! So that was what all the buzzing was about when I drove past your church last Sunday morning. Just put a gargoyle on your front porch and that will really start the rumors!!

Tara said...

Whew! Just got back from making the rounds at local coffee shops and restaurants, talking long and loud about how BETH and DAVE don't go to church together! You can bet that people were taking in every word I said, especially since I was sitting at a table all by myself talking loud and long. I tried to spread some gossip about you at Walmart, but everybody there ignored me; I guess if you've seen one disheveled, frumpy lady talking to herself at Walmart, you've seen them all.

ichi-ban critic said...

I think you and Jane Doe should go to the same therapist; maybe the two of you could get a special rate.

Deb said...

LOL Jane's mom!

Actually, I was going to suggest you bring Monopoly along and play. Or better yet, ask others in the pews around you to join in.

Karen said...

Ohmygoodness! Why did I cut blog reading out of my free time?!?? You totes crack me up! I have often thought the same thing about me and Chris and our Sundays. Have you ever noticed there are a minimum of two children between us at all times? And church songs make me cry so that doesn't help. People surely think we are on the outs and we are faking it for the kids... you know, because they always look so happy at church (not).