12!

Twelve years ago today, Dave and I were guests at my in-laws’ house for supper.  I was 9 months pregnant, but not due until January 20.  During the delicious meal of homemade pot pie (with my mother-in-law’s homemade noodles) I began to notice that things weren’t exactly right with me.  Things seemed moist where things should not necessarily be moist.  I felt as though I may have even wet my pants! 

I quietly checked things out in the bathroom, but I ruled out my water breaking, because I knew from watching television sitcoms that that would happen in a gush, at the most inopportune time, like when one was trying to convince the landlord that they weren’t pregnant or when one was taking a communion wafer from the priest.  This was just a mere, occasional trickle.

I sat down again, but it kept on trickling.

I nudged Dave and whispered “I think my water broke.  Or maybe not.  Shh.  Don’t tell anyone, they’ll think I’m a crazy woman.  Also, can I have your noodles?”

I ate Dave’s noodles and then we excused ourselves, headed home, picked up the suitcase, and drove to the hospital, where they used some kind of litmus test-like paper to determine that I was indeed trickling amniotic fluid, that I must have a tiny tear, and that we were to stay the night, because the baby was on her way! 

Nothing really happened.  I just kept trickling and having the occasional light contractions. The doctor gave me pitocin the next morning which was no fun and only made the contractions hurt more with very little progress, as the baby seemed content to hang out with me for another couple of weeks. Gradually things did start moving along and my sweet Madeline Elizabeth was born that evening, January 4, 2000, at 6:45 p.m.  I never knew a person could be so happy.  I had no idea how much I would love her right from the start, how the world had entirely changed for me at 6:45 p.m., and how I could feel such outrageous joy and fear at the same time. 

I cried on the way home from the hospital because I saw a school bus and knew I’d have to put her on one some day. I cried at night because she wasn’t safe inside me anymore, but out in the world which I now saw as a very dangerous place.  I cried a lot and was a little bit crazy for a few weeks while my hormone levels sorted themselves out and I adjusted to very little sleep and to breastfeeding that wasn’t going so well, and loving and cuddling and swooning over my Maddie.

She is a joy.  She’s smart, kind, caring, friendly, cute, creative, and now she’s almost as tall as me.  Booo.

Just look at those thighs!  Oh!  She was so squeezy!

Happy 12th  Birthday (tomorrow) to my best girl.  I love you so much.