Do you have any mysteries at your house? I’m not talking Scooby-Doo type mysteries, as I feel I can safely assume that none of you have been wandering around mine shafts or abandoned amusement parks searching for a dognapper or Old Man Jenkins and his crazed puppet burglars, and my sympathies if you are, and, may I add, I’d love to read your blog.
No, I’m talking about mysteries like…
1. Who leaves the gigantic toothpaste globs on the sink in the kids’ bathroom? Also, who spits out their toothpaste spit and then doesn’t rinse it down? Everyone denies doing both of these things and points fingers, then strangely enough, when I station myself in the bathroom at toothbrushing time, the globs/unrinsed spit stains are miraculously absent! That too is a mystery. Where do they go? Why are they only present went I am not?
2. Who spread Legos all over the basement floor? Although three children play Legos down there, all three claim that their own Legos start in the Lego bin and end in a project and that the other two must have spread their Legos out.
3. Why are Austin & Ally and Lab Rats even allowed to be television shows and why do my children like them? To be honest, I actually like Good Luck, Charlie and Victorious, but these are a complete mystery to me.
4. Where has all the tape gone?
5. Why can’t anyone else hear the squeaking of the guinea pig? Are his squeaks ultrasonic and my ears the only ones physically capable of receiving his panicked call for celery?
6. How can people pass their own possessions put lovingly at the bottom of the steps by me for them to take upstairs umpteen gazillion times without a second glance? How does it seriously never occur to anyone to pick up that book/hat/pile of cars and return it to their rooms?
7. Why do they all fight over my last sip of Diet Coke? Yuck. Warm, unfizzy, and yet, apparently the Nectar of the Gods to be fought over at all costs.
8. And finally, why does it always look like this in front of the shoe drawers?
Why, I ask you…WHYYYYY?!
4 comments:
#1 happens in my house EVERY DAY. Between the sink and the toilet, the kids' bathroom is the most disgusting place in my house and possibly on the planet.
I've only seen Austin and Ally once and thankfully my kids weren't interested. Over the past few weeks they've developed an affinity for Jessie, a super-obnoxious show on Disney. I can't stand it. I do like Goodluck, Charlie (love the Mom!) and A.N.T. Farm is starting to grow on me.
My tape always disappears too. Today I found several x's made out of scotch tape on the garage floor; "What a perfectly good use of tape!", I didn't say.
The pile of crap at the bottom of our steps is ever-present. I am forever saying "If it's yours, or you know where it goes, get it off the steps!!". Nobody listens. Monsters, every last one of them!
Oooooh, that #1. But here's the thing ... when I'm on them about the blobs and I catch them "cleaning" them, their methods truly make me shiver. It makes me thisclose to saying -- LEAVE THE BLOBS!
I know where the tape is. On the side of the table; stuck to itself in a two-inch-high tape sculpture in your yougest son's room; on the hardwood floor. I swear, we go through tape at an alarming rate here, too, and frankly the only time I use it is at Christmas.
#6. Hahahaha. Guilty as charged.
#8. I know, right? And we have the same issue with mittens.
Oh Beth, I just love you. I laughed all through this. In fact, you had me at "Old Man Jenkins".
m.
p.s. I love that Mom on Good Luck Charlie. Isn't she the best. Can we start an old people's fan club for her?
m.
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