My mother read my last post and wants you to know the following things:
1) My house is not as bad as I make it sound. It is never perfect. It is rarely close to perfect. I do clean and dust (occasionally) and pick up, and my children do have housework jobs, and the slave labor from them totally counts. But let me tell you, I can have the house looking pretty darn nice, and three minutes after the kids get home from school, I’m thinking, “What, the what?” Grrr.
2) I do not even consider cleaning my windows on a sunny day. That would be crazy, as my mom reminds me often (kind of like the willow tree story) that the windows will streak in sunshine. (To my mother-in-law…I totally only clean my windows when it’s sunny so I can see the streaks and wipe them away, I promise.)
3) I do brush my hair, I do put on makeup when I’m going out (usually), and I don’t always wear sweatpants (sometimes I wear jeans too).
4) I do not now, nor have I ever, had lice! (Although I did have worms once when I was a toddler! Sorry mom, the secret’s out.)
5) I really am very crafty, for instance, mom reminded me that I used to do cross stitch and I paint my own walls and…then she got kind of stumped, but remembered the awesome potholders I used to make from that potholder-making kit when I was 10, so you can see, I really am quite the DIY-er.
6) To Jen, the commenter on the last post who told me that that post made her feel better about her own house and self …that post was for you (I mean, it wasn’t just for you, it was for anyone, but you totally got it). I love reading blogs, but sometimes they make me feel incompetent, dumb, poorly groomed, and lacking in so many ways. Some bloggers’ families seem so perfect, their homes are sparkling, their children smiling away, and they did it all themselves. I think it’s good to remember that really, no one is perfect: one blogger’s two year old probably threw up on the beautiful wooden floor she just hand-stenciled twenty minutes after she took the photo for her blog, the kids of another blogger probably ate nuggets and fries for 4 nights in a row so she could finish painting the bedroom (nothing wrong with that mind you, she just won’t tell you that), and another one argued with her husband over the cute fabric skirt she attached to his desk so much that they aren’t speaking, and may not until said cute fabric skirt is removed. That part just won’t be included in the blog. Do I tell you everything? No! Of course not! My mother would kill me.
But I do try,occasionally, to keep it a little real, to remind all of us that it’s okay that some (not all) of us can cook, while some of us like shortcuts and easy suppers, and some of us love a clean house, while some have four children under the age of 5 and the state of the house is the last thing on our minds, and some of us are always on a diet, while some of us are trim and fit, and some of us can refinish furniture while some of us like to lay on the furniture in the afternoon watching DVR’d episodes of Modern Family and that’s okay! (And I’m glad Jen found some comfort in that!)
I’m also sorry that my post freaked my mother out so much.
Dave and Jack walking through the cornfield behind our house. This photo really doesn’t go with this post. I just like it.
6 comments:
Don't forget about your beautiful chalk board!!!
And, its okay that when you mentioned me on your blog I was lying on the couch watching a DVR'd episode of Modern Family, I don't mind. :)
I can attest, I saw Beth at Walmart on Friday and she looked fantastic! Hair was brushed and beautiful and had a bra on and make-up! I believe I even told her how lovely she looked!!
My word verification is buckfgin, I don't even know what to say about that!!! My eyes were playing tricks on my when I read that word real fast!
I love how you keep it all real. It is scary out in blogland sometimes for us "real" housewives! I loved the part about throwing up on the newly stenciled floor! You know that happens, but you are right... we don't hear about it. I just try to keep in mind that they all have issues to. I would rather be real than something I am not. Hello... I wrote about spanking my child once! I was waiting for DHS to show up!!!
I think the picture of the boys is lovely!
Thanks for clearing ALL of that up! LOL! Hope you have a great week and it really is ok to be REAL. Most of us are too afraid to be these days!
So. I LOVED the post your mom hated and I was all revved up to leave a fancy comment, and then my dementia kicked in and I forgot. So I can't let this opportunity pass me by.
1. My house really is as bad as you made yours sound. And I totally blame it on the rest of my family, because it is mostly not my stuff. I'm at the point now that I will look at something and do the mental math on whether it's worth my time or not to pick it up. Like, if I spend 10 seconds of my life to bend over, pick it up and walk it to the hallway closet, knowing 2 minutes later Child B will grab it and put it right back in the same spot, is it worth losing that 10 seconds of my life that I'll never get back. Mostly, it's not.
2. Been here since January 1999 and never cleaned my exterior windows. And we've had plenty of sunny and cloudy days since. I have, on occasion, cleaned the window over my kitchen sink if there is an actual spaghetti noodle stuck to it, or my glass doors if I can no longer see through the dog slobber.
3. I am already on record about embracing my Ugly.
4. Ditto, on both.
5. Wonder if we did the same cross stitch pattern. I could use some new potholders, if you're looking for a gift idea for me.
6. Get a carpet, wood stenciler people. You can get puke out of a carpet way easier than out of wet paint. Many bloggers do create a crazy, falsely-high standard and I think you're spot on: they probably have a mountain of crap just out of the frame (all 67 minutely-different ones) and their husbands likely got a shopping spree at Lowe's in exchange for the desk skirt. (And I can only imagine how filty a burlap skirt under a sink gets!)
6a. Nevertheless, their house is still probably less of a disaster than mine. And I wish that wasn't the case.
Addendum. Mason has caught me stealing from his Halloween candy "purse" because I didn't fold the handles the same way. Chase, whose bowl is just sitting on the table, is none the wiser. I think you're right about that 10-year-old cutoff thing.
Thank you for two such entertaining posts.
Oh, I much prefer the real people (i.e, the dirty, cluttered people) to the all put-together, polished-appearing people! And I like pictures of people's dirty houses more than pictures of people's magazine-quality houses. Right now, my house looks like a clutterbomb exploded. And I'm with Deb: none of it is my stuff. Well, Ok: some of it is my stuff. But I swear, these little people I live with make most of the mess. I'm drowning in the papers the 4 of them bring home every day!
I just paused and realized I have no idea where I am going with this, other than to whine about my lot in life and clutter up your post about dirt and clutter.
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